"The following are questions for contemplation in whatever manner might help you discover some deeper truth about yourself. These questions can provide a framework for our sessions. You may want to write or journal to the ones that immediately appeal to you. Another way getting at truth is to write down any dream images that you are having. 

The following have to do with feeling stuck in some area of your life:"

1. Where am I rigid or resistant to change?

What does this mean?  I dont even understand this question.  everyday is full of changes. If a person isn't flexible then?  Where am I rigid?  I dont know when it comes to a comfy bed and good food?  Resistant to change?  I want change more than anything right now- a new life, a new career, a new place to live, to up and goooooooooo...I guess I can be stubborn and that I want what I want when I want it.

2. Where am I blocked by fear? The personality is often organized around fear--when we act out of fear, we are damning up the flow of the river of our life. When are times when you fearful and what is the fear about? Think about sources of this fear.

I am fearful everyday.  I am fearful I will never get over the loss of my baby.  I am fearful I dont have the strength to do it again.  I am fearful that I dont want to do it again.  I am fearful I wont have a kid.  I am fearful of the world because it has fucked me so many times.  I am fearful I will never be sane again.

3. What are “real” fears in your life and what are the "learned" fears? Where did your family life and/or Mom and Dad teach you to be fearful? Where did they teach you to be avoidant? What was taboo in your household?

Same as #2 - Did my parents teach me to be fearful?  I dont think so.  Maybe they belittled me and maybe that has made me fearful.  They taught me I should stay away from drugs and tattoos and anything that is not classy or not prudent.  They taught me to avoid spending money at all costs. 

4. Where was my mother stuck? Where was my father stuck? Do I get stuck in the same places? If not, do I go out of my way not to get stuck in those places and then overcompensate? Where and how do I see my mother and father's fear, avoidances, stuck places operating in my life? They got stuck with money; The recession hit.  a majority of people have problems with money.  My mom was stuck in her job but she got out of it so...  I guess I have gone out of my way to try to get and keep a job that will not let me go once I am/was tenured.  I guess money does scare me silly.  Not having money makes me very, very angry.  My mother was stuck within herself and anti-social and I did try very hard to not be like her when I was 18 and quickly lost the battle at 19.  It was fun while it lasted.  5. Consider the conflicts that are present in your life. What are the themes of those conflicts? How do you handle them internally/externally? What is your inner dialog when these conflicts arise? What are your deepest fears in the midst of these conflicts? Most of us get defensive during conflict--what are you defending (think about the themes in the conflicts)? How/why do you feel misunderstood in the midst of conflict? What do you feel is important for others to know about you during these conflicts? What/who makes you angry related to the conflicts? How have these conflicts resolved or not resolved? Conflicts= fertility  Theme= fertility  I handle them by telling myself I am worthless, broken, unloveable, not worthy of being a woman or wife.  defensive?  huh? defending the fact that I want a family? how do I feel misunderstood?  The fact that it feels like life is in one great big pause until a baby comes out living for more than three hours.  It feels like people seem to think I should get over a "miscairrage" in one month and move on- that 10 weeks of grieving is too much let alone carry on with it.  They want me to pretend that nothing bad or traumatizing has happened and to go on and live my life like I used to when I dont want to.  I want to throw it all away.  What is important for others to know about me during this conflict?  I dont like seeing babies, hearing about children, or grandchildren, or pregnancies or pregnant people but I need my friends badly anyway.  people who are not cognazant about what they say around me make me angry and people who do say something that can bother me but catch themselves very obviously and then dont lie about what they were going to say but make me more uncofortable by alluding to "it"- seeming to try to extra hurt me- piss me off.  not resolved. quo) can be the enemy of the greater. Think about times when you avoid conflict and explore those in your writing/thinking. I avoid conflict by not quiting my job when I need to for my sanity.  7. What are the things (ideas, habits) that are holding you back? What role does habit play in your life? What are behavioral patterns that hold you back? What might you be trying to avoid? My confidence, or lack there of, holds me back.  8. Where in your life are you still asking for permission? Permission for what? To whom are you asking permission? I still ask permisson for everything from my parents.